Have you ever wondered why certain moments and memories stand out in your mind, while others fade away? Those that stand out are typically life-changing in some way. Let’s look at the possibility that we can create life-changing moments with PCM, the Process Communication Model.

What is the Process Communication Model?

First, let’s review the Process Communication Model. This internationally-acclaimed system teaches users to communicate effectively with everyone around them. By learning self-awareness and then implementing the tools of PCM, you can more effectively communicate with your family, your co-workers, and every stranger you meet.

The basic premise is this: You’ll complete a Key to Me Profile to learn your own strengths and communication preferences. Once you better understand yourself, you can learn how to better understand and recognize the communication preferences of others, based on second-by-second cues and clues.

Implementing the tools learned through the Process Communication Model helped Bill Clinton win the presidency; it helps Pixar to create movies that reach wide audiences; it helped NASA identify the best candidates for its astronaut programs.

What are Life-Changing Moments?

So if learning PCM helps us to communicate effectively, how does that intersect with creating life-changing moments and memories?

Life-changing moments are the memories that stick with us through the years. They’re the outstanding memories from our youth – the moments we made big decisions and changed direction.

But did you know that it’s entirely possible to create those life-changing moments for yourself? They don’t just happen to us, we can be proactive in choosing those moments.

Author Dan Heath wrote a book called The Power of Moments. He discussed this book with Tony Robbins on Tony’s podcast, which is a fantastic listen if you have the time:

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Dan and Tony have some great insights into how we create life-changing moments. Dan explains that those moments are memorable and meaningful, despite the fact that they could emanate from otherwise mundane settings.

Weddings and vacations can obviously produce those lasting memories, but regular experiences and daily interactions can also become life-changing moments.

How to Create Life-Changing Moments

During that podcast and in his book, Dan Heath explains that there are four main elements necessary to create life-changing moments.

First, elevation. An experience that rises above the “every day,” like an important basketball game or a wedding, will be elevated. We feel absorbed in that unique situation, meaning that our senses are heightened in this new environment.

The second element for creating life-changing moments are those moments of insight. Those abrupt realizations or the transformation of thoughts, like that sudden moment you realize that you just cannot do one more day at your job. Those moments of insight are revelations that stick with us.

A third element is pride. These life-changing moments are the moments when we’re at our best. They’re the moments when we accomplish something we didn’t think we could accomplish or when we’re recognized by others. They linger in our minds as pivotal moments.

Finally, the fourth element for creating life-changing moments is connection. Strong connections between individuals or among groups, especially when we work hard on something together and have to push, endure, and struggle together – those moments are life-changing.

In the discussion, Tony raises some interesting points about how he thinks we create life-changing moments. He argues that they’re based in the context of our emotions. We frame them in a certain way, react to the moments in a certain way, and our memories are then anchored to the state that we were in at the time.

We connect to the feeling, the images, the sounds, and the sensations associated with the moment in our memories. The meaning you attach to something produces the emotion of your life…and emotion is your life.

Tony believes that we hold the power to create a better quality of life by proactively assigning a different meaning to each moment. He calls it “reframing.”

Choosing to Create Moments and Memories

Both Tony and Dan offer slightly different opinions on how we create life-changing moments, but the crux of the conversation remains the same: we can choose to create life-changing moments.

Those slight differences in their insights are sort of similar to the debate over the idea “Cogito, ergo sum” by Descartes. While Descartes theorized, “I think, therefore I am,” many debate that the saying should be “I am, therefore I think.” Regardless, the point remains the same: we are thinking beings.


The key to all of this is to practice self-awareness and to understand how our life-changing moments have become our own memories.

Once we become aware of something, we can affect it, change it, manipulate it. If we understand how to create life-changing moments as memories, then we can choose how we interact with and perceive the world.

I don’t know about you, but taking in this idea of creating life-changing moments reminded me of the beginning of “2001: A Space Odyssey,” when the monkeys discover the power of tools. They realized they could control their own moments, rather than letting life happen to them. If you’ve never seen it, here’s the relevant clip:


We should all take a deep look into this at some point. Without the awareness of how we store our feelings and categorize our interactions from the world, memories can define our lives and control us.

Becoming aware and looking at how defining moments are formed allows us some control over how we perceive life.

Awareness can also help us understand the issues we have with the past and how we can shape memories or accept them for what they are.

How to Create Life-Changing Moments with PCM

The Process Communication Model is the perfect tool to help understand and to create life-changing moments. PCM allows users to take a full 360-degree approach to understand themselves and the people they interact with.

Through learning PCM, you’ll learn to understand Perceptual Language and also how to offer psychological needs to others. That, in itself, has the power to create life-changing moments. The ability to understand your interactions with others in order to create the ideal interaction can lead to those pivotal moments.

When you also utilize other concepts from areas like marketing or sales and then incorporate compassion and leadership tools with your PCM training, you can affect the way others perceive you and also change the way you perceive others.

You can use all of these tools and concepts in every single aspect of your life, from raising children to running for president.

The great thing about PCM is that it is systematic and also free-flowing, allowing for it to be simple and accessible to all.


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